i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
