I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
