K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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