He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
