So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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