Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
