Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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