Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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