the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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