I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize