i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
