Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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