the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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