Pappa wants mamma naked
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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