I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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