you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
