K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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