my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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