I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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