I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
