Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
