I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That accounts for only three of the penises
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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