I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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