Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she told me i tasted like america
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
