I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
