Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
