we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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