Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize