ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She bit a glass in half.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
