I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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