'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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