We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
