Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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