Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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