So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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