Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
