I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
