i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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