we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
