My friends, they love my intelligence
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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