Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
