Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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