Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
True strength comes from lack of pants
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