i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
