please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
They have beer where we have blood.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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