I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
