i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
