i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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