Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
