ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
